Protecting yourself from FRIENDS

A few months ago I wrote a blog about “setting the tone for your life”. I spoke on how we have to create boundaries around the energy people bring forth. A few days ago while speaking to a friend of mine, I finally spoke up about why I exited a group chat, I felt so relieved that she was so understanding. That discussion also sparked more conversation and motivated her even more to change. When bringing something like that to the table, you have to make sure that that person is ready to not only listen but are able to understand what you’re expressing, at least that’s how I do it. Although I am very big on accountability and keeping it real, I am also an empath and dislike hurting peoples feelings, so I tread lightly - unless you need Toughlove and brutal honesty. Now this may or may not work on most people. 

So many people have a difficult time with taking accountability for the issues they face, so telling someone they are full of negative energy can end a friendship. People would take this as you not being a good friend because you refuse to listen to repeated self inflicted issues. My advice to you if you have friends that fit that category, is that you have to make a decision on who is more important, your emotional and spiritual health, or their self inflicted wounds. This may sound harsh but it is exactly what is happening, you are choosing them over you. Not in anyway am I saying never listens to one’s problems, we all have them and need to vent. I have a tribe that I send the same text message to for words of encouragement or to help me figure out how to handle things. Some days I want to rest and never see sunrise again, and I’d be screwed without them ready to lift me up. I say this to say, love all your friends, be there, but do not coddle and enable, especially at the expense of your happiness.